Say What?

Communication. It’s the buzz word that gets thrown around every time couples argue or really, when any dispute takes place between people. “There was no communication between us! How could we possibly get along?!” These are typical comments on any typical talk or reality show.

Another big talking point is the difference between “hearing” someone and “listening” to them. As a counselor for over a decade, I’m here to say that I couldn’t listen to anyone if I didn’t first hear them! To me, the distinction between the two is much like “eating” and “tasting.” Think about it.

Since I’ve taken a job that requires constant contact with TV and newspaper reporters, I’ve learned a lot about communication. One particular lesson stands out: just because you’re talking does not mean that the other person catches what you’re saying!

Some of the most thoughtful, professional and attentive reporters I’ve met still misquote me. They both hear me and listen. However, I can do an interview one day, read the article the very next day and half of the basic information will be wrong. And reporters take notes! So, imagine what happens between people who aren’t paid to get it right?

I guess we have to remember that in our communication with others, everything that is said is filtered through an endless array of issues, experiences and emotions both positive and negative. I don’t know if the old adage, “we hear what we want to hear,” is as true as we hear what we expect to hear!

So, watch for the unexpected. You’ll probably be shocked at what you’re missing!